Another chapter

A name died on my lips today, and I was not prepared for it. First there was the smell of jasmine, then there were voices around me, and then all of a sudden, the death happened. And then, the world went on as usual, while I stood still in the middle, not yet sure what happened in that split second where love had failed.

I sometimes tend to speak too soon. I have this habit of pouring my heart and soul into things and ideas that make sense only to me, and sometimes they turn out well, but sometimes they also turn out wrong, and so they fail me, and I am left with nothing to show for it but a handful of quotes and lines and snippets from old fractured scenes.

I am temporarily closing this blog. Under the weight of so many unanswered questions, and still reeling from the impact of disappointment and loss, I am unable to make sense of things.


Thus, this blog will have to stand still. This room will be empty for now except for old things, dust from old memories, the remains of fifteen months lived with much effort, much pain, and much hope, and I’m sure, with even much more love, which I thought was enough. Who could have known I needed more? We are never really happy when we think we are.

I will still edit the sidebar from time to time, if only to show what I'm reading and to add links to new blog friends. Please feel free to browse my archives, and of course you are welcome to leave your messages. I hope to be back in time.